Squelched

I like that word. It reminds me of grape crushing. Imagine a great big barrel, full of grapes, being smashed as an old woman steps rhythmically up and down... squelch, squelch, squelch.

Fun word. Not such a fun feeling, however. And I'm sort of feeling it lately. It's a little dizzying. One minute I'm happy as a clam (never understood that expression) and the next- squelch- I've been a little crushed. Stupid, stomping feet.

Here's how it all pans out: I am ridiculously excited about my life. All joy and skipping and smiles, right? Other people are being pessimists, though. They keep telling me that my plans won't work, and that my enthusiasm won't last, and that I'm going to end up impoverished and alone on the streets... dying. Talk about squelching!

Okay. So maybe that's a bit of an exaggeration. No one has told me recently that I'm going to die of loneliness and starvation. But I feel like the rest of the world is less than perfectly excited for me. And also, they think I'm ridiculous and silly. With so much enthusiasm brimming over in all aspects of my life, I am in need of people who will share it with me. I need some of that joy to be reflected back at me, instead of sucked up like light trying to reflect in a dark room. I need some mirror-people to bounce a bit of joy back off on me!

Oh well. As soon as I get over this brief bout of irritation, I'll be back to beaming life and light and joy off on everything I see.

Progress

So, once upon a time it was President's Day weekend. And then it was Tuesday, and the weekend was over, and I thought I had just experienced the best weekend ever. Well. Then the next weekend happened, and it was even better- a "great weekend" record-breaker. Ok. So. Now it's Monday again, and I can officially declare it- the past weekend was the most amazingly wonderful weekend of my life.

So, what do all of these weekends have in common to make them so fabulous? Easy question: my new best friend, who I also happen to be dating. He's lovely. And as I get to know and love him more and more every week, the time we get to spend together becomes more and more precious. He's basically amazing. So fun to be around, and ridiculously sweet to me. Here's a secret- I think he thinks I'm more fabulous than I actually am. But that's ok. I don't mind being treated like I'm wonderful (ok, so really I love being treated like I'm wonderful). This weekend, among other things, we went to his family's house in Cedar Hills for Sunday dinner. That was way fun. I was super nervous, of course, that I would offend or annoy someone, or come across as obnoxious or stuck up, or any other thing that would be less than wonderful. But after I loosened up a little bit, it was fabulous. It was also quite delightful to see that Braun is the same beautiful person around his family as he is around just me. I loved that. And he wasn't at all shy about me, either (no one has ever kissed me in front of their mother before). It was the best Sunday dinner I've had away from my own family (adopted family included). And the rest of the weekend was lovely, too.

So, my weekends have followed a trend from good to better to best.

And that is what is called progress.

Speed Dating

Speed is a drug, which is illegal and bad for you. More to the point of this post, however, it is also a word which can be used to modify the word dating to imply the dating has been done quickly. In our world of lonely, desperate people who are used to the immediate gratification of mass-produced goods and McDonald's a practice has arisen in an attempt to provide instant relief to the loneliness of these poor people; this practice is referred to as speed dating.

In all of the portrayals of speed dating which I have seen or heard (having never personally participated in this ritual), a whole lot of lonely people, or people looking to have a fun time laughing at the sheer hilarity of the situation, gather together, and rotate through each other, trying to find a soul mate from a 5 minute conversation. And while I am sure there are some success stories, I would imagine they are few and far between. Soul mates probably don't exist, and even if they did, they simply do not fall out of the sky to deliver their prepared 90-second autobiography in such a way as to capture your heart forever.

"Speed dating" is also what my sister-friend has accused me of doing lately. And to some extent, she's right. The track record doesn't look that great, you know? I think I sometimes come off as ridiculous, flighty, and reckless. I don't want to be ridiculous. I don't think I am ridiculous, even. Confident, yes. Passionate, definitely. Also probably a little hasty. But, not to worry! None of this has ended in disaster!

I have been labeled as "enthusiastic" before. Not that that means anything; I've been labeled as a lot of things before (brilliant, dumb, talented, annoying... lots of labels), but I think this one's pretty accurate. I have a tendency to be excited about life, and everything that's going on in it. I try to make the best of what I've got, and usually am not easily dissuaded from the course of action I have decided upon. Actually, "not easily dissuaded" is probably not descriptive enough. Basically, I throw my whole self into things. It usually works out pretty well, but having invested my heart into my decisions makes it pretty rough when they don't go well. Not to worry, however- pretty soon, I'll decide on something new to be excited about!

Anyhow... back to the topic. I was talking to my friend from home, who I only ever see about once a year. Maybe twice. So, we really just see snippets of each others' lives when we talk to each other every few weeks, or sometimes months. Over this past year, it feels like every time I talk to her, it's about a different boy. So she's got this idea in her head that I am being a little bit silly, and setting myself up to get hurt a million different times. Today, we were chatting, and she asked "So, how's the speed dating going?" and I wasn't sure if I should laugh or feel a little offended. Being thought of as a speedy little flirt is not exactly my goal in life. But from the snippets of my life she gets, I guess it makes sense that it could look that way.

Whatever. I'm just frustrated and rambling now. I'm excited regardless of what the confused people at home think. And so I think I'm done with this irritated post.

Creepy Stalkers

So, it has lately come to my attention that people could find my blog if they Google searched for me. Creepy. Imagine the power this puts into the hands of total wackos or potential blind dates... yikes! I really can't imagine the horrors of being found on Blogger by a psycho nut case (my brain doesn't think like a stalker, luckily). But as for the men... my ditzy little blog could scare them all away! Unless, of course, I'm being stalked by slightly crazy but wonderful people, who somehow find my ramblings endearing or something.

Anyway, the settings have been changed and I don't think I'm quite so search-able anymore.

Love Day

Today is Valentine's Day! And I am contemplating the topic of love...

I want to fall madly in love with someone fabulous one day. When that day will be, however, is still a great mystery. So for now, I'm just having fun getting practice at relationship building. After all, there are a lot of people to relate to these days!

On the topic of relationships, I was reading a friend's blog the other day, and one entry discussed the 5 languages of love. These include: words of affirmation, quality time, gifts, acts of service, and physical touch. I think I relate best to affirmation and touch. Especially touch. I am a sucker for hugs, and confide in people best when snuggling. One of my best friends is not a touch person; she lets me cuddle her when we're talking about important things anyway. I should thank her for that. I doubt she knows how much it means to me.

I think sometimes people don't understand my touchy-ness. Sometimes, they think I'm giving off different signals than I am. That's bad. Luckily, on the other hand, when I give off signals and they're rejected, I can deny it all vehemently with a "No, I was just being friendly." Technically, I've never done that, though.

I need to work on considering the long-term ramifications of dating boys. I tend to look at a promising situation and ask myself: "Does this make me happy? Am I listening to my Heavenly Father? Am I giving anything up that I will regret?" And once I've asked those questions, if the answers are "Yes, Yes, No," I move forward in a positive direction. Which might not be the worst thing in the world. As long as I keep asking the right questions and listening, I'll be fine.

Speaking of which... I am quite happy, listening, and not giving up anything right now, so I guess we'll see where this goes!

Curious

I'm kind of weird, and like to keep up with what everyone else is up to in their lives, so I read a lot of blogs. It's fun to read what other people have written about their lives. But I wonder- does anyone find enjoyment in reading my "silly stories and ridiculous ramblings"? I certainly hope so. If you're reading this, thanks for caring about my crazy-wonderful life. Love you all!

And the Feasting Continues!

On Monday I wrote about food, but I can't think of any other, more exciting topics to write about, so I am going to continue bragging about the delicious things I have been eating.

So, Monday I had Orange-Ginger tilapia for dinner, which was AMAZING. Tilapia is my most favorite fish ever, I have decided. But I might just be saying that because it's the only kind I've ever cooked with. So, having greatly enjoyed Monday's fish, I made more tilapia on Tuesday. This time it was with teriyaki sauce, and stir-fried carrots and green peppers. I think orange-ginger is better, but this was still quite yummy. THEN we went to the grocery store yesterday, so I bought more good ingredients, so naturally I had to cook with them today. So I made a basil-cinnamon pork chop, and ate it with rice. Also, this is especially exciting because the basil came fresh off of my windowsill, where I have a lovely pink potted basil plant from my Allison roommate. I love anything that lets me use my fresh basil. And it's good with cinnamon! Tomorrow I'm making this stew with beef, green pepper, mushrooms and onion in a sauce made from tomato juice and whipping cream. It's all spicy and peppery, with lots of paprika. My mom got the recipe from one of her college friends who is from Germany, and it is delicious. You're supposed to serve it over egg noodles, but growing up we ate it over rice instead because my daddy doesn't really like egg noodles. I've always wanted to try it that way, though. But I forgot to buy them yesterday, so I'll follow my upbringing and do rice. It's really good that way, because the rice grains soak up all the delicious sauce, and are full of yummy flavors.

I bought new spices at the store yesterday. Allspice and paprika and chili powder. When I added them to my growing arsenal of spices, it was really exciting. I'm starting to have quite the collection, especially for a typical college student. Some of my favorites are ginger and curry, and garlic. And oregeno.

I don't know what I'm going to eat Friday... I might be out of energy for delicious food making by then. But I do know that I absolutely love making good food, whether I'm using a recipe or making it up as I go.

On a slightly more serious note, I was talking to a friend about scriptures and religion and our testimonies of the Savior, and he said "We really do have a great feast in front of us, don't we?" referring to the scriptures' prompt to "feast upon the words of Christ". And it's true; there is an abundance of goodness and joy that can be ours if we only partake of it. And so, the feasting continues... and it is perfectly glorious!