"Fear not, neither be dismayed"

It has been over a month since I wrote an update here. That's a long time! So, I decided to fix that by writing something tonight. It promises not to be brilliant, but that's alright. Can't be brilliant every time.

I have some serious issues with growing up. Some days I just don't want to do it; being an adult is too hard, so I am going to pretend to be 7 years old for the rest of my life. Some days I am ready to be done growing up, to be 82 years old with 27 grandchildren and a few great grandchildren on the way. Rarely I am content to be 20 years old and figuring life out. Being 20 is simply too confusing.

I'm afraid of growing up. I'm scared of making decisions that will impact the rest of my life and forever. I don't like trusting new people, but know that blocking everyone out doesn't work. I'm not certain that I trust myself. There are too many things I have to decide that I might mess up for me to trust myself.

I want life to speed up too often. I need to slow down and be content with the place I'm at now. There are so many good things going on in my life. I have to stop complaining long enough to appreciate them instead of going through life scowling with worry and being grumpy all the time.

I need to serve other people more. Service is the best way to get my mind off of my silly self. So that's what I need to do.

Today there was a BYU Devotional given on hope. It was a wonderful devotional. I love the concept of hope. Hope is what fills the world with purpose, that convinces us to keep going. Hope makes it possible for us to use the Atonement of Jesus Christ. Hope is what allows us to look forward to a joyous, wonderful forever. Hope is what brings the beautiful things around us to our attention and helps us sing blissful praises of gratitude to our Heavenly Father for these blessings. It was a good message for me to hear today.

There's snow on the mountains today, and wet fall leaves litter the sidewalks. It's beautiful.

Deuteronomy 31:6, 8
Be strong and of a good courage, fear not, nor be afraid of them: for the Lord thy God, he it is that doth go with thee; he will not fail thee, nor forsake thee... And the Lord, he it is that doth go before thee; he will be with thee, he will not fail thee, neither forsake thee: fear not, neither be dismayed.